Ok, so running over the summer was an epic fail. I ran for a month once I was home, lost another 10 pounds, then stopped running, started drinking again, and I think I gained another 2 or so pounds. My current weight is unknown, I'll check the gym tomorrow. According to my most recent run (with the help of map my run) it took me 25 minutes to run 2.5 miles. That's a 10 minute mile. And I was kicking my ass the whole time too.
That blows. Like big-time. Time to get my shit together.
-Derek
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Running Man: Day 36
Weight (3/21): 208
Weight (3/29): 206.5
Weight (4/13): 201.7
Weight (4/19): 200.4
Weight (4/26): 200.2
Change: .2 pounds.
Ok, this looks bad. Really bad. But, it's not, and here are my excuses. Ok, first of all, I went to Toronto on Thursday, and spent 72 hours walking around the city, eating lots of delicious foreign food, drinking a lot, and throwing up. Unfortunately, I never threw up early enough to lose any of the food, so the only thing that came up was the booze.
That being said, I still managed to loose .2 pounds despite not running for 4 days (yesterday I was just a lazy asshole). It's ok though. I've got 3 weeks, and I'm going to lose 10 pounds in those 3 weeks. That's my goal. 10 pounds, 3 weeks. Break!
Weight (3/29): 206.5
Weight (4/13): 201.7
Weight (4/19): 200.4
Weight (4/26): 200.2
Change: .2 pounds.
Ok, this looks bad. Really bad. But, it's not, and here are my excuses. Ok, first of all, I went to Toronto on Thursday, and spent 72 hours walking around the city, eating lots of delicious foreign food, drinking a lot, and throwing up. Unfortunately, I never threw up early enough to lose any of the food, so the only thing that came up was the booze.
That being said, I still managed to loose .2 pounds despite not running for 4 days (yesterday I was just a lazy asshole). It's ok though. I've got 3 weeks, and I'm going to lose 10 pounds in those 3 weeks. That's my goal. 10 pounds, 3 weeks. Break!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Running Man: Day 30
Went for a full hour run, then weighed myself. I wasn't expecting much since I went home from last Wednesday until Sunday, and I tried really hard to eat good portions and eat healthy, but my mom just kept shoving food down my throat. So here's my new weigh-in:
Day 1:
Weight (3/21): 208
Weight (3/29): 206.5
Weight (4/13): 201.7
Weight (4/19): 200.4
Change: 1.3 pounds. 7.6 pounds in one month.
Again, about 2.5 pounds off where I wanted to be, but really, as long as it keeps going down, I'm happy. After starting at 218 this semester, I'm pretty pumped just to have reached 200.
Day 1:
Weight (3/21): 208
Weight (3/29): 206.5
Weight (4/13): 201.7
Weight (4/19): 200.4
Change: 1.3 pounds. 7.6 pounds in one month.
Again, about 2.5 pounds off where I wanted to be, but really, as long as it keeps going down, I'm happy. After starting at 218 this semester, I'm pretty pumped just to have reached 200.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Running Man: Day 23
Day 1:
Weight (3/21): 208
Weight (3/29): 206.5
Weight (4/13): 201.7
Change: 4.8 (or 2.4 per week).
So, yeah, this is more like what I was thinking. About 2.5 a week. I'd just like to say that I've lost 15 pounds so far this semester, which this week is 3 months. That's 5 pounds a month, but about 10 pounds in the last month. Considering I stopped running after the first two weeks of the semester due to unforeseen circumstances, and the next 6 weeks consisted of either not eating, or overeating, well, I'm glad where I am.
So let's see... 19 weeks until Fall Semester starts. If I keep up with this pace, or at least 2 pounds a week, that'll end at 38 pounds, putting me at 163 pounds. Now, I planned on losing 30 pounds this semester, but with only 4 weeks left, I'd need to lose 4 pounds a week essentially. If I lose 10 more pounds, for a total of around 25 this semester, I will be very happy. My goal is 170 by the end of summer, and 2.5 pounds a week will get me there.
I never made a new years resolution before, and my goals are usually stupid things. This was the first real goal I've ever set for myself, and I might actually be able to do it. I haven't told many people, but I think I will. This is the first thing I've been really happy about in months, and I'm actually pretty proud of it.
Weight (3/21): 208
Weight (3/29): 206.5
Weight (4/13): 201.7
Change: 4.8 (or 2.4 per week).
So, yeah, this is more like what I was thinking. About 2.5 a week. I'd just like to say that I've lost 15 pounds so far this semester, which this week is 3 months. That's 5 pounds a month, but about 10 pounds in the last month. Considering I stopped running after the first two weeks of the semester due to unforeseen circumstances, and the next 6 weeks consisted of either not eating, or overeating, well, I'm glad where I am.
So let's see... 19 weeks until Fall Semester starts. If I keep up with this pace, or at least 2 pounds a week, that'll end at 38 pounds, putting me at 163 pounds. Now, I planned on losing 30 pounds this semester, but with only 4 weeks left, I'd need to lose 4 pounds a week essentially. If I lose 10 more pounds, for a total of around 25 this semester, I will be very happy. My goal is 170 by the end of summer, and 2.5 pounds a week will get me there.
I never made a new years resolution before, and my goals are usually stupid things. This was the first real goal I've ever set for myself, and I might actually be able to do it. I haven't told many people, but I think I will. This is the first thing I've been really happy about in months, and I'm actually pretty proud of it.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Running Man: Day 15- Sickness
So, last Wednesday I got some sort of illness. I ran, then couldn't sleep that night. Thursday, I threw up and pooped everything in my body. In the end I literally was puking and pooping the same milky water. The water out of my ass was a little yellower though.
Anyways, so, I've taken a little break. Tomorrow I start up again, but I'm kinda disappointed I fell off pace. We'll see how it affected me.
Anyways, so, I've taken a little break. Tomorrow I start up again, but I'm kinda disappointed I fell off pace. We'll see how it affected me.
Being Single
The other night I was up pretty late bitching about being the third wheel to one of my friends. He had been broken up in a similar way to me; been with a girl for 2 and a half years, thought they were in love, thought things would work out, but then girl dumps him. Both of our ex-girlfriends began sleeping with other people practically right away. Well, I don't know that mine did, but she started seeing someone not long after, and it's not like I'm going to pretend she didn't like sex.
Anyways, he and I talked a while and he said something that kinda hit me. Instead of thinking about the negatives (holy crap there are a lot. Even the other night, when I watched "Up" I thought "Who the hell am I going to go see Pixar movies with??" If I show up at a Disney movie now by myself, the cops will be called) I have to think about the positives of being single. I laughed for a second, but he listed off a few things and I was like, "You know, I won't have to deal with her when she's on her period anymore."
And Bam, they started flowing out. This is the start of "Why Being Single is Awesome" my attempt to trick myself into actually believing who I am now is better than who I was before.
1) No more periods.
Now, I know I'll run into periods again. Every woman has them. My ex's though were pretty bad. She didn't get pissy, she didn't get mad. She got sad. This may seem like a stupid thing to complain about, but let me tell you, when she was on her period, suddenly everything was a catastrophy. Last semester, every one of our relationship "fights" occurred when she was bleeding. It was like a dementor hovered around her when she was on her period. Even before last semester though, that's always when she'd ask "What if we don't make it?" "Why haven't you proposed to me?" "I don't want to go back to school 3 months from now." Being the amazing boyfriend I was, I bit my lip and tried to be comforting. I accepted these were her periods, and as the significant other I had to put up with that shit. When she broke up with me she was on her period.
Let me tell you though, her periods were particularly bad the last year though. She was an amazing girlfriend, and being so, she went and got an IUD put in while at UVM. We talked about it alot, and I wanted it to be her choice; it was free, part of a survey. The side effect though was that her period suddenly became twice to three times as long. She didn't bleed the whole time; she spotted for a few days, and she always would be "one day away" from the big flow. During the summer, our potential sex days were suddenly cut in half. During the school year, our already limited sexual windows became near nonexistent, with only one weekend a month turning into a sex crazed fuck-fest. To be honest, I didn't mind. I thought I had my entire life to have sex with her (the sex was great). Again, I was wrong.
So, periods not only gut into my emotional happiness by turning her into a walking tear-machine, but they also cut into the potential sex time. Unfortunately I'm not sure where that leaves me now; I love not having to deal with an emotional wreck, but I'm not having sex at all. And, I'm still getting over this break up, so I'm still emotionally stressed anyways. But, it's almost like an investment. Sure, it's tough right now to look on the brightside of having no periods, but once I don't care anymore, I'm sure I'll love their absence.
I had a few other ones, and I'll be sure to post them as they come up.
Anyways, he and I talked a while and he said something that kinda hit me. Instead of thinking about the negatives (holy crap there are a lot. Even the other night, when I watched "Up" I thought "Who the hell am I going to go see Pixar movies with??" If I show up at a Disney movie now by myself, the cops will be called) I have to think about the positives of being single. I laughed for a second, but he listed off a few things and I was like, "You know, I won't have to deal with her when she's on her period anymore."
And Bam, they started flowing out. This is the start of "Why Being Single is Awesome" my attempt to trick myself into actually believing who I am now is better than who I was before.
1) No more periods.
Now, I know I'll run into periods again. Every woman has them. My ex's though were pretty bad. She didn't get pissy, she didn't get mad. She got sad. This may seem like a stupid thing to complain about, but let me tell you, when she was on her period, suddenly everything was a catastrophy. Last semester, every one of our relationship "fights" occurred when she was bleeding. It was like a dementor hovered around her when she was on her period. Even before last semester though, that's always when she'd ask "What if we don't make it?" "Why haven't you proposed to me?" "I don't want to go back to school 3 months from now." Being the amazing boyfriend I was, I bit my lip and tried to be comforting. I accepted these were her periods, and as the significant other I had to put up with that shit. When she broke up with me she was on her period.
Let me tell you though, her periods were particularly bad the last year though. She was an amazing girlfriend, and being so, she went and got an IUD put in while at UVM. We talked about it alot, and I wanted it to be her choice; it was free, part of a survey. The side effect though was that her period suddenly became twice to three times as long. She didn't bleed the whole time; she spotted for a few days, and she always would be "one day away" from the big flow. During the summer, our potential sex days were suddenly cut in half. During the school year, our already limited sexual windows became near nonexistent, with only one weekend a month turning into a sex crazed fuck-fest. To be honest, I didn't mind. I thought I had my entire life to have sex with her (the sex was great). Again, I was wrong.
So, periods not only gut into my emotional happiness by turning her into a walking tear-machine, but they also cut into the potential sex time. Unfortunately I'm not sure where that leaves me now; I love not having to deal with an emotional wreck, but I'm not having sex at all. And, I'm still getting over this break up, so I'm still emotionally stressed anyways. But, it's almost like an investment. Sure, it's tough right now to look on the brightside of having no periods, but once I don't care anymore, I'm sure I'll love their absence.
I had a few other ones, and I'll be sure to post them as they come up.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
The Third Wheel
I'm going to preface this little story with an explanation. 4 and a half years ago, I started dating a girl. We didn't have a lot in common, but we had similar personalities. Over time, we developed mutual interests, but the problem was we were the only couple in our group of friends. Thus, when we weren't going on our own dates, we were doing group activities. Inevitably though, there would be times when it was us and just one of our friends. At the time, I didn't see what the big deal was. Sure we were gross; we held hands, kissed at odd times, hugged spontaneously. So really gross. But we talked alot, asked a lot of questions, were fun people. Think about all the things you can do with couples you can't do alone? Go Apple Picking, go out to dinner, catch a movie. Sure it's awkward, but it's something, isn't it?
Well, I've been out of that relationship for 2 months, and I have officially decided that being the Third Wheel is absolute horseshit. This is not only a rant about how horseshit it is, but also an apology to all those people who once tagged along with me and my ex; I'm sorry for the excruciating awkwardness we piled on you. I'm sorry for every meaningful look we exchanged, every wink, every squeeze of the hand, and most importantly, every embrace of the arms or lips. It's fucking horrible, and I'm sorry to have put your through that. From the deepest and most sincerest part of my heart, please believe me when I say I had no idea what I was putting you through, and now that I do, I hope you'll forgive me.
Why am I doing this? The short answer: I'm single. Who else am I going to tell this to? I had a revelation today, and this is my chance to share it with the world. Mostly though, because I don't have anything better to do. Also, this was originally a post on Facebook, where people might actually read it. Now it's just locked away here in my blog, where no one will ever see it again...
So, here are the things that lead to my epiphany.
This afternoon I tried to get a group of my friends to play bocci. One was camping, one was working, a few others were hanging out with other people, but two of my friends were available. They happen to be an adorable couple. They literally are exactly what you imagine your parents looking like 20 years ago. And, god bless them, they are not nearly as uncomfortably cuddly as my relationship was.
Even so, that bocci game is what showed me how horrible it was to be the third wheel. It wasn't even things they were doing; they weren't holding hands, swapping spit, or even being that adorable most of the time. But it was still there in the back of my head, like the old Sesame Street song, "One of these things is not like the other." I feel horrible saying it, because I love these two people to death, and I have never felt any animosity toward them, but at that moment I was terrified at the notion of being the third-wheel.
I couldn't believe how awkward I felt, even without them doing anything. I had hung out with them before, and never felt that tension ever. Was it just because the last 2 months have been pretty rough that I didn't notice? Or was it the weather, this warmth that just caused relationships to blossom and spill allergens all over the people around them?
So, that's the mindset I was in this evening. Terrified that I would be the odd-man out, the tag-along, the third wheel. I called my friends to see what they were doing, and they said to stop by whenever. I got inside to find out that I was no longer the third-wheel. I was the 7th wheel. 7th! The couple from before, and two other "pairs," both to varying degrees of seriousness. It still was apparent, and my fear from earlier just grew and grew as I sat in the room. How do you become a 7th wheel?! I quickly thought up an escape plan; "Yeah, I'm gonna head out." "What, so soon?" "Yea... i was just stopping in on my way to..." "Oh, ok. Well, have fun!" And that was that.
Maybe it's just part of the phases of breaking up, but couples seem to be everywhere. This was probably just another phase; like some sick Alfred Hitchcock film, I feel like couples are swooping in around me, trying to peck my eyes out. Hopefully, it's just a phase, because these are my friends. Summer of Junior year, one of my friends spent 5 weeks as the third-wheel to me and my ex. 5 weeks. I couldn't even go an entire bocci match without thinking "it blows being the third-wheel."
Melodramatic? Maybe? A Waste of 90 minutes of my own time? Certainly not. I had a lot of fun writing this, and at the same time I was talking with a friend I've made in the last 2 months, and it was a pretty good conversation. About as enlightening as this rant about being the third wheel.
Again, I'd just like to say, I'm soooooo soooooo sooooo friggin' sorry to anyone who ever was the third wheel to me and Meagan. Literally, we were probably the worst couple to third-wheel with. It's sickening to think how touchy-feely we were, and how "mom and dad"ish our questions probably sounded, and how that probably made anyone with us want to jump in front of traffic. Before today, I didn't realize what you went through, but now that I know, I hope you'll accept my apology.
If either member of the couple I mentioned in this post read this, please know I don't mean anything against you guys by this post. I love you both, and you two are amazing. Today it hit me though, even more than any other time, being single may blow, but being single in the midst of a couple is even worse. I hope you'll still play bocci with me, and still be the adorable couple I think you are, and don't let anything change that.
Yeah, it's 2:15...
Well, I've been out of that relationship for 2 months, and I have officially decided that being the Third Wheel is absolute horseshit. This is not only a rant about how horseshit it is, but also an apology to all those people who once tagged along with me and my ex; I'm sorry for the excruciating awkwardness we piled on you. I'm sorry for every meaningful look we exchanged, every wink, every squeeze of the hand, and most importantly, every embrace of the arms or lips. It's fucking horrible, and I'm sorry to have put your through that. From the deepest and most sincerest part of my heart, please believe me when I say I had no idea what I was putting you through, and now that I do, I hope you'll forgive me.
Why am I doing this? The short answer: I'm single. Who else am I going to tell this to? I had a revelation today, and this is my chance to share it with the world. Mostly though, because I don't have anything better to do. Also, this was originally a post on Facebook, where people might actually read it. Now it's just locked away here in my blog, where no one will ever see it again...
So, here are the things that lead to my epiphany.
This afternoon I tried to get a group of my friends to play bocci. One was camping, one was working, a few others were hanging out with other people, but two of my friends were available. They happen to be an adorable couple. They literally are exactly what you imagine your parents looking like 20 years ago. And, god bless them, they are not nearly as uncomfortably cuddly as my relationship was.
Even so, that bocci game is what showed me how horrible it was to be the third wheel. It wasn't even things they were doing; they weren't holding hands, swapping spit, or even being that adorable most of the time. But it was still there in the back of my head, like the old Sesame Street song, "One of these things is not like the other." I feel horrible saying it, because I love these two people to death, and I have never felt any animosity toward them, but at that moment I was terrified at the notion of being the third-wheel.
I couldn't believe how awkward I felt, even without them doing anything. I had hung out with them before, and never felt that tension ever. Was it just because the last 2 months have been pretty rough that I didn't notice? Or was it the weather, this warmth that just caused relationships to blossom and spill allergens all over the people around them?
So, that's the mindset I was in this evening. Terrified that I would be the odd-man out, the tag-along, the third wheel. I called my friends to see what they were doing, and they said to stop by whenever. I got inside to find out that I was no longer the third-wheel. I was the 7th wheel. 7th! The couple from before, and two other "pairs," both to varying degrees of seriousness. It still was apparent, and my fear from earlier just grew and grew as I sat in the room. How do you become a 7th wheel?! I quickly thought up an escape plan; "Yeah, I'm gonna head out." "What, so soon?" "Yea... i was just stopping in on my way to..." "Oh, ok. Well, have fun!" And that was that.
Maybe it's just part of the phases of breaking up, but couples seem to be everywhere. This was probably just another phase; like some sick Alfred Hitchcock film, I feel like couples are swooping in around me, trying to peck my eyes out. Hopefully, it's just a phase, because these are my friends. Summer of Junior year, one of my friends spent 5 weeks as the third-wheel to me and my ex. 5 weeks. I couldn't even go an entire bocci match without thinking "it blows being the third-wheel."
Melodramatic? Maybe? A Waste of 90 minutes of my own time? Certainly not. I had a lot of fun writing this, and at the same time I was talking with a friend I've made in the last 2 months, and it was a pretty good conversation. About as enlightening as this rant about being the third wheel.
Again, I'd just like to say, I'm soooooo soooooo sooooo friggin' sorry to anyone who ever was the third wheel to me and Meagan. Literally, we were probably the worst couple to third-wheel with. It's sickening to think how touchy-feely we were, and how "mom and dad"ish our questions probably sounded, and how that probably made anyone with us want to jump in front of traffic. Before today, I didn't realize what you went through, but now that I know, I hope you'll accept my apology.
If either member of the couple I mentioned in this post read this, please know I don't mean anything against you guys by this post. I love you both, and you two are amazing. Today it hit me though, even more than any other time, being single may blow, but being single in the midst of a couple is even worse. I hope you'll still play bocci with me, and still be the adorable couple I think you are, and don't let anything change that.
Yeah, it's 2:15...
Monday, March 29, 2010
Dream Catching
So, my uncle sent me an e-mail the other day. He had spent the night in my room after visiting my mother. In my room I have a rabbit fur staff I bought in Colorado, an eagle's feather that I got in Alaska, and a dream catcher that I had for the longest time. Essentially, the e-mail said that he had some great dreams due to the dream catcher.
I don't usually set much to stake to this stuff, but I wish I had that dream catcher here. My dreams have been shit lately. They're all strange, and all of them intense. Yeah, some of them are about ex (at least the worst ones are), but I keep waking up in the middle of the night really pondering what just happened. I'm started writing down the things I've woken up thinking, just to see what exactly was going through my head. If I'm going to wake up and have a "What the fuck was that??" moment, I might as well write it down.
Here was the first one; a few weeks ago, I woke up from one of these intense dreams. I lay there for a bit, and suddenly a thought occurred to me. "I trust science, but I don't believe any of it. I believe in God, but I don't trust him at all." Now, when I wrote it down, it was just a thought that came to me in the middle of the night. The next morning however, I sat and thought about it, and I really kinda was blown away by it.
Not because I think it's profound or anything. This isn't some epiphany that came to me in a dream or anything, I was just surprised at how accurate it was. I trust science; I trust that electricity will power everything in my room, and I trust that global warming is happening, but I don't believe any of the facts that back it up. It's not that I don't think it's happening, I'm sure it is; I just don't understand any of it. Sure, I can talk about mRNA and about how colors are just electrons jumping, but, seriously, you could just have easily said "Colors are composed of particles called "colortrons" that are predetermined based on every organisms mixing of gene-ocisms." I'm glad it's more complicated than that, and I'm also glad that there are people who not only understand science, but actually enjoy it. I am not one of those people.
Science gives me the heeby-jeebies. I love spaceships, and I love everything that we can enjoy today because of science, but I don't want anything more than a rudimentary understanding of it. Like I said, I understand the stuff; in highschool, I always did well in those classes, and got a 3.75 in Physics last year. It just scares the crap out of me. I can't help but feel insignificant when I think about the fact that I'm composed of millions of cells which are then composed of even more insignificant protein strands, which are even more insignificant molecules and particles, and electrons, neutrons and protons, which are probably made up of even smaller particles. I mean seriously; what the fuck is going on here? How can I possibly be made up of all that? I can't even keep track of my homework, and I'm in charge of trillions of atoms? It just doesn't make sense that I should be just a collection of molecules and particles and energy.
That's why I believe in God. So far I've only talked about the things that make up humans, but when you look at the totem pole, we're just as insignificant to the universe as those stupid particles are to us. Solar systems make up galaxies, galaxies make up the universe and who knows how many universes are stacked on top of each other. Wave your arm, you're brushing through an infinite number of universes. Why don't I obsess about this as much as the small things? Well, we're essentially a part of the universe in the same way that an atom is just a part of us; we're small, insignificant, and meaningless to whatever immense structure we are a part of. Who knows; maybe the universe is just one immense mobius strip, and we are a part of the universe, which together with other universes are merely just a part of us.
This isn't about the universe (much) though. This is about God. Because I do believe there is a God. Maybe we are just a part of some immense structure, just another cog in a system that we have no comprehension of. But something out there has an idea of what our purpose is, and whatever it is, has treated us like crap.
Now, when I was growing up, I had a lot of toys. Sure, they're inanimate objects that don't breathe or move or think, but they were still things that were important to me. If a toy broke, I would feel horrible, and I always treat my belongings responsibly. I'm not just talking about my crap to say I was a crazy person who treats inanimate objects like people. I'm trying to say that even if we are stupid little pieces in a larger puzzle, we should be treated with respect.
Which we aren't. Even if we accept popular theological beliefs, God has just shit all over humanity. Even the chosen people would just get fucked around by him. Job was just another casualty in one of his competitions with the Devil. He asked Abraham to sacrifice his first born son, and then last minute, "Hey! That thing I told you to do... yeah, don't worry about that anymore."
I'm just saying, if God exists, he really is a douchebag. Ever notice how good people are always the ones to suffer? My friend Tucker lost his mother in Sophomore year of high school. Donnah was an amazing woman, who treated everyone with love and respect. I knew her for almost 10 years, and in all that time, I always felt welcome in the Dunbar household. Then she got cancer, and after years of battling it, she passed away. Sure, she refused blood transfusions because of her religion, but I'm not talking about religion; I'm talking about God. I'm talking about the Almighty Being that supposedly created us and has been guiding us through our actions. I'm talking about the unnatural circumstances that transpired to create not only humans but the universe itself. There is nothing random about the universe; it may have been created trillions of years ago, but the fact of the matter is every particle in it has a purpose and a reason, and for that, God, whether it is some master architect sitting at his desk concocting new ideas, or just the mathmatical principle that holds the universe together, is a fucking douche.
I hate when good people have crap happen to them; my friend Tim just lost his sister to Leukemia, my friend Kory had leukemia when he was 12, relapsed at 14, and has lived with the fear of relapsing ever since. My mother lost her husband a month before I was born, and raised me all by herself, sacrificing love and careers to bring me up. Ghandi, MLK Jr, JFK (a little), Abraham Lincoln, and Jesus Christ (even if he is actually God), all got shafted. Literally, each and every one of them got the shaft, and what had they done wrong (well, aside from JFK- there's some shady stuff going on there)? But, it's not just death that's unfair; Death is a part of life. But life should be fair; everyone should be entitled to live a life free from persecution and from violence. There are millions of people in the world today that call a collection of boxes and metal "home." There are millions of children that will watch good people die of hunger while criminals flourish.
What the fuck God? You know, I don't care what you do to me. My father died at the age of 30, and at this point, I've inherited his hair, why not his life-span too? The one thing I had that made me truly happy is gone, and while I doubt that was your doing, it still gets me in the right mind to say, "Fuck Off." If you're not going to do good, why even bother?
And yes, God does exist. There is no way that everything that exists today is random shit that occurred over the course of infinity. Who knows, we may just be the by product of whatever the true intentions were; maybe we are just the atoms that make up the molecules that make up the cells of an enormous inter-universe Penis, which is merely one penis of 7 on some incomprehensible being. Maybe all of the universes just make up one molecule of a blade of grass. WHO CARES. All I care about is that whoever started this take responsibility for it's actions.
So that's that. That is the huge discussion that sprung from the stupid quote I wrote down when I woke up in the middle of the night. At the time, I just kinda threw it down on a sticky-note, said, "hmm" and passed out again. When I woke up, I thought about it for a little. Tonight, I said, "Hey, I should write on that blog I have, because I have nothing better to do (literally, I watched an entire season of "How I Met your Mother" today. I really am ready for this semester to be over).
I have another Dream Comment, but I'm going to save it. This argument was pretty stupid, and for a bit there, I think I lost my thread. All I know is that I trust my car, I trust my computer, and I trust my cell phone all to work, but I don't understand how they work, and I don't really care why. Because even if I did understand, it would just be another inconsequential thing to think about. Like God. Even though I believe God exists (I have faith in him, just like technology), I don't care how it exists. Unlike technology, God isn't doing it's job though. It's fucking over good people, and helping bad people. And that's not really what I just ranted about this whole time anyways.
So, yeah. This blog officially has 4 different segments: Dream Catching (Late-Night Inspired Philosophy), Running Man (My running blog), Star Wars Reviews (Recipe a day, a la Julia Childs) and Derek's Adventures (right not it's just singular "adventure").
4 different segments, and only one follower. I don't care though. This is more for me to think about things. Rather than keep them in my head where they bounce around alot though, I can get them down in words, no matter how incoherent, and maybe clear my head.
I don't usually set much to stake to this stuff, but I wish I had that dream catcher here. My dreams have been shit lately. They're all strange, and all of them intense. Yeah, some of them are about ex (at least the worst ones are), but I keep waking up in the middle of the night really pondering what just happened. I'm started writing down the things I've woken up thinking, just to see what exactly was going through my head. If I'm going to wake up and have a "What the fuck was that??" moment, I might as well write it down.
Here was the first one; a few weeks ago, I woke up from one of these intense dreams. I lay there for a bit, and suddenly a thought occurred to me. "I trust science, but I don't believe any of it. I believe in God, but I don't trust him at all." Now, when I wrote it down, it was just a thought that came to me in the middle of the night. The next morning however, I sat and thought about it, and I really kinda was blown away by it.
Not because I think it's profound or anything. This isn't some epiphany that came to me in a dream or anything, I was just surprised at how accurate it was. I trust science; I trust that electricity will power everything in my room, and I trust that global warming is happening, but I don't believe any of the facts that back it up. It's not that I don't think it's happening, I'm sure it is; I just don't understand any of it. Sure, I can talk about mRNA and about how colors are just electrons jumping, but, seriously, you could just have easily said "Colors are composed of particles called "colortrons" that are predetermined based on every organisms mixing of gene-ocisms." I'm glad it's more complicated than that, and I'm also glad that there are people who not only understand science, but actually enjoy it. I am not one of those people.
Science gives me the heeby-jeebies. I love spaceships, and I love everything that we can enjoy today because of science, but I don't want anything more than a rudimentary understanding of it. Like I said, I understand the stuff; in highschool, I always did well in those classes, and got a 3.75 in Physics last year. It just scares the crap out of me. I can't help but feel insignificant when I think about the fact that I'm composed of millions of cells which are then composed of even more insignificant protein strands, which are even more insignificant molecules and particles, and electrons, neutrons and protons, which are probably made up of even smaller particles. I mean seriously; what the fuck is going on here? How can I possibly be made up of all that? I can't even keep track of my homework, and I'm in charge of trillions of atoms? It just doesn't make sense that I should be just a collection of molecules and particles and energy.
That's why I believe in God. So far I've only talked about the things that make up humans, but when you look at the totem pole, we're just as insignificant to the universe as those stupid particles are to us. Solar systems make up galaxies, galaxies make up the universe and who knows how many universes are stacked on top of each other. Wave your arm, you're brushing through an infinite number of universes. Why don't I obsess about this as much as the small things? Well, we're essentially a part of the universe in the same way that an atom is just a part of us; we're small, insignificant, and meaningless to whatever immense structure we are a part of. Who knows; maybe the universe is just one immense mobius strip, and we are a part of the universe, which together with other universes are merely just a part of us.
This isn't about the universe (much) though. This is about God. Because I do believe there is a God. Maybe we are just a part of some immense structure, just another cog in a system that we have no comprehension of. But something out there has an idea of what our purpose is, and whatever it is, has treated us like crap.
Now, when I was growing up, I had a lot of toys. Sure, they're inanimate objects that don't breathe or move or think, but they were still things that were important to me. If a toy broke, I would feel horrible, and I always treat my belongings responsibly. I'm not just talking about my crap to say I was a crazy person who treats inanimate objects like people. I'm trying to say that even if we are stupid little pieces in a larger puzzle, we should be treated with respect.
Which we aren't. Even if we accept popular theological beliefs, God has just shit all over humanity. Even the chosen people would just get fucked around by him. Job was just another casualty in one of his competitions with the Devil. He asked Abraham to sacrifice his first born son, and then last minute, "Hey! That thing I told you to do... yeah, don't worry about that anymore."
I'm just saying, if God exists, he really is a douchebag. Ever notice how good people are always the ones to suffer? My friend Tucker lost his mother in Sophomore year of high school. Donnah was an amazing woman, who treated everyone with love and respect. I knew her for almost 10 years, and in all that time, I always felt welcome in the Dunbar household. Then she got cancer, and after years of battling it, she passed away. Sure, she refused blood transfusions because of her religion, but I'm not talking about religion; I'm talking about God. I'm talking about the Almighty Being that supposedly created us and has been guiding us through our actions. I'm talking about the unnatural circumstances that transpired to create not only humans but the universe itself. There is nothing random about the universe; it may have been created trillions of years ago, but the fact of the matter is every particle in it has a purpose and a reason, and for that, God, whether it is some master architect sitting at his desk concocting new ideas, or just the mathmatical principle that holds the universe together, is a fucking douche.
I hate when good people have crap happen to them; my friend Tim just lost his sister to Leukemia, my friend Kory had leukemia when he was 12, relapsed at 14, and has lived with the fear of relapsing ever since. My mother lost her husband a month before I was born, and raised me all by herself, sacrificing love and careers to bring me up. Ghandi, MLK Jr, JFK (a little), Abraham Lincoln, and Jesus Christ (even if he is actually God), all got shafted. Literally, each and every one of them got the shaft, and what had they done wrong (well, aside from JFK- there's some shady stuff going on there)? But, it's not just death that's unfair; Death is a part of life. But life should be fair; everyone should be entitled to live a life free from persecution and from violence. There are millions of people in the world today that call a collection of boxes and metal "home." There are millions of children that will watch good people die of hunger while criminals flourish.
What the fuck God? You know, I don't care what you do to me. My father died at the age of 30, and at this point, I've inherited his hair, why not his life-span too? The one thing I had that made me truly happy is gone, and while I doubt that was your doing, it still gets me in the right mind to say, "Fuck Off." If you're not going to do good, why even bother?
And yes, God does exist. There is no way that everything that exists today is random shit that occurred over the course of infinity. Who knows, we may just be the by product of whatever the true intentions were; maybe we are just the atoms that make up the molecules that make up the cells of an enormous inter-universe Penis, which is merely one penis of 7 on some incomprehensible being. Maybe all of the universes just make up one molecule of a blade of grass. WHO CARES. All I care about is that whoever started this take responsibility for it's actions.
So that's that. That is the huge discussion that sprung from the stupid quote I wrote down when I woke up in the middle of the night. At the time, I just kinda threw it down on a sticky-note, said, "hmm" and passed out again. When I woke up, I thought about it for a little. Tonight, I said, "Hey, I should write on that blog I have, because I have nothing better to do (literally, I watched an entire season of "How I Met your Mother" today. I really am ready for this semester to be over).
I have another Dream Comment, but I'm going to save it. This argument was pretty stupid, and for a bit there, I think I lost my thread. All I know is that I trust my car, I trust my computer, and I trust my cell phone all to work, but I don't understand how they work, and I don't really care why. Because even if I did understand, it would just be another inconsequential thing to think about. Like God. Even though I believe God exists (I have faith in him, just like technology), I don't care how it exists. Unlike technology, God isn't doing it's job though. It's fucking over good people, and helping bad people. And that's not really what I just ranted about this whole time anyways.
So, yeah. This blog officially has 4 different segments: Dream Catching (Late-Night Inspired Philosophy), Running Man (My running blog), Star Wars Reviews (Recipe a day, a la Julia Childs) and Derek's Adventures (right not it's just singular "adventure").
4 different segments, and only one follower. I don't care though. This is more for me to think about things. Rather than keep them in my head where they bounce around alot though, I can get them down in words, no matter how incoherent, and maybe clear my head.
Running Man Day 8: Weigh In
Day 1:
Weight (3/21): 208
Weight (3/29): 206.5
Change: 1.5
Mile Time 1: n/a
Mile Time 2: n/a
Change: n/a
So, I did lose weight, but not nearly as much as I was hoping. This could be because of my weekend. I'm not proud of what I did, but I didn't really keep my resolve. Friday I ordered a pizza with Tim, and while I only had a few slices that night, I didn't run on Saturday, ate the rest for breakfast, and then Sunday had a little more than I needed at dinner. Sunday though, I did go for an hour run, so, it wasn't that bad. It just might help explain why I didn't lose as much as I thought I would.
So, tomorrow will be my first mile-time. I guess we'll see how that goes.
Weight (3/21): 208
Weight (3/29): 206.5
Change: 1.5
Mile Time 1: n/a
Mile Time 2: n/a
Change: n/a
So, I did lose weight, but not nearly as much as I was hoping. This could be because of my weekend. I'm not proud of what I did, but I didn't really keep my resolve. Friday I ordered a pizza with Tim, and while I only had a few slices that night, I didn't run on Saturday, ate the rest for breakfast, and then Sunday had a little more than I needed at dinner. Sunday though, I did go for an hour run, so, it wasn't that bad. It just might help explain why I didn't lose as much as I thought I would.
So, tomorrow will be my first mile-time. I guess we'll see how that goes.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Running Man: Day 5- Summary Day
So, I haven't gone running yet today. Actually, I've only been "awake" for about an hour (I don't have classes on Friday, and it's reeeaaaaallly cold outside). So, here I am at 1:30PM writing this little entry in my blog. Keeping track of what I ate kinda went to shit, because I can't even remember what I ate yesterday (I had a piece of stick for dinner though).
Anyways, Monday I did a short 20 minute run because it was rainy, cold, and absolutely miserable. Wednesday, I did a 30 minute run, it was a little warmer, and it was the furthest I'd run since I started. Yesterday though, I ran for about 15 minutes, then went in to the gym and used the stationary bike for 40 minutes. I meant to go every other day, but I think I'll just use the bike twice a week.
Rough Weekly Schedule:
Monday- 20-30 minutes with strides
Tuesday-30 minutes
Wednesday- 20-30 minutes, with bike
Thursday- 30 minutes
Friday-20-30 minutes with strides
Saturday-20 minutes
Sunday- 1 hour
Sunday's run is what my coach told me to include. He said the best way to speed up weight loss and get back into running shape is to have at least one long run, and right now, to take it run 20 minutes, walk 2-3, run 20 minutes, walk 2-3, run whatever is left. Sunday is weigh in day (I cheated while I was in the gym yesterday, and checked, still on pace for my 2.5 a week) so, that'll be good right after that long run.
You know what else will be good after that long run? A big glass of Chocolate Milk.
Anyways, Monday I did a short 20 minute run because it was rainy, cold, and absolutely miserable. Wednesday, I did a 30 minute run, it was a little warmer, and it was the furthest I'd run since I started. Yesterday though, I ran for about 15 minutes, then went in to the gym and used the stationary bike for 40 minutes. I meant to go every other day, but I think I'll just use the bike twice a week.
Rough Weekly Schedule:
Monday- 20-30 minutes with strides
Tuesday-30 minutes
Wednesday- 20-30 minutes, with bike
Thursday- 30 minutes
Friday-20-30 minutes with strides
Saturday-20 minutes
Sunday- 1 hour
Sunday's run is what my coach told me to include. He said the best way to speed up weight loss and get back into running shape is to have at least one long run, and right now, to take it run 20 minutes, walk 2-3, run 20 minutes, walk 2-3, run whatever is left. Sunday is weigh in day (I cheated while I was in the gym yesterday, and checked, still on pace for my 2.5 a week) so, that'll be good right after that long run.
You know what else will be good after that long run? A big glass of Chocolate Milk.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Running Man: Day 1- The Weigh In
This past January I decided I was going to get back into shape. During highschool, I ran cross country and indoor track, and at my best I weighed 155 pounds and could run a 5:35 mile. That was almost 3 years ago though. In my senior year of high school, I gained twenty pounds and graduated at 180 pounds. Now, 3/4th the way through my sophomore year of college, I had reached 215 pounds, and I was dreaming about that 5:35 mile.
Well, that's what prompted this goal. With my girlfriend, I decided to lose at least 30 pounds, ideally 40, and get back into shape. Well, I started the semester off strong; for the first 2 weeks I ran every day, or went to the gym. Unfortunately, in that second week, I got broken up with, and my work-out schedule got derailed. For the next 6 weeks, my gym attendance was erratic, and I really had no motivation to do anything.
Unfortunately, weighing 215 pounds, standing only 5'8", and balding quickly, my physical appearance left much to be desired. Now I consider myself a nice guy; I'm patient, a good listener, compassionate, blah blah blah, but aside from those 4 years in highschool when I was in good shape, I've never had any lucky in the "ladies department." So, now, single for the first time in 4 years, I need to do serious work. A nice guy is like a good book, and girls are just like any other human being; if it's got a shitty cover, it will not be opened.
Let me be clear about something though; this is not just about getting back into dating. I really do want to get back into shape. I lost a lot of confidence in myself in those years when I gained that weight, and while I don't blame my break-up on my weight, I can't help but wonder if it contributed. The other aspect, getting in shape enough that girls will look at me again, is important, but that's just a short term goal. Long term is to run a 5:35 mile, and to never run slower than a 7:00 mile again in my life.
So here we are. I've been running for a week now, and eating better with better portions (the other half of this goal), and I'm ready to weigh in. My goal is to write each day what I ate, what I ran, and then every week weigh in, and every other week do a time trial. My coach once told me that for every 10 pounds you lose, you can take a minute off of your mile time. I've got 50 pounds to lose, and definitely at least 5 minutes before I'm at 5:35 again.
Day 1:
Weight 1: n/a
Weight (3/21): 208
Change: n/a
Mile Time 1: n/a
Mile Time 2: n/a
Change: n/a
Meals:
Brunch at 12:00- mini pigs in a blanket, salad (greens, green and red peppers, cukes,crumble Parmesan and blue cheese), Apple Juice w/ Cranberry juice
Dinner at 6:00- Balogna and fat free cheddar cheese sandwhich on 12 grain bread.
So, here we go. By August 15th, 2010, I want to run my 5:35 mile, or at least be under 6 minutes. I want to lose at least 40 pounds, preferably 50. I lost 7 pounds in 6 weeks without running, so, hopefully I'll be shedding weight like my hair the next 5 months. 10 pounds a month. I can do this.
Well, that's what prompted this goal. With my girlfriend, I decided to lose at least 30 pounds, ideally 40, and get back into shape. Well, I started the semester off strong; for the first 2 weeks I ran every day, or went to the gym. Unfortunately, in that second week, I got broken up with, and my work-out schedule got derailed. For the next 6 weeks, my gym attendance was erratic, and I really had no motivation to do anything.
Unfortunately, weighing 215 pounds, standing only 5'8", and balding quickly, my physical appearance left much to be desired. Now I consider myself a nice guy; I'm patient, a good listener, compassionate, blah blah blah, but aside from those 4 years in highschool when I was in good shape, I've never had any lucky in the "ladies department." So, now, single for the first time in 4 years, I need to do serious work. A nice guy is like a good book, and girls are just like any other human being; if it's got a shitty cover, it will not be opened.
Let me be clear about something though; this is not just about getting back into dating. I really do want to get back into shape. I lost a lot of confidence in myself in those years when I gained that weight, and while I don't blame my break-up on my weight, I can't help but wonder if it contributed. The other aspect, getting in shape enough that girls will look at me again, is important, but that's just a short term goal. Long term is to run a 5:35 mile, and to never run slower than a 7:00 mile again in my life.
So here we are. I've been running for a week now, and eating better with better portions (the other half of this goal), and I'm ready to weigh in. My goal is to write each day what I ate, what I ran, and then every week weigh in, and every other week do a time trial. My coach once told me that for every 10 pounds you lose, you can take a minute off of your mile time. I've got 50 pounds to lose, and definitely at least 5 minutes before I'm at 5:35 again.
Day 1:
Weight 1: n/a
Weight (3/21): 208
Change: n/a
Mile Time 1: n/a
Mile Time 2: n/a
Change: n/a
Meals:
Brunch at 12:00- mini pigs in a blanket, salad (greens, green and red peppers, cukes,crumble Parmesan and blue cheese), Apple Juice w/ Cranberry juice
Dinner at 6:00- Balogna and fat free cheddar cheese sandwhich on 12 grain bread.
So, here we go. By August 15th, 2010, I want to run my 5:35 mile, or at least be under 6 minutes. I want to lose at least 40 pounds, preferably 50. I lost 7 pounds in 6 weeks without running, so, hopefully I'll be shedding weight like my hair the next 5 months. 10 pounds a month. I can do this.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Star Wars Review #1.2: Heir to the Empire, the last 200 pages
So, seeing as I only reviewed the first 200 pages the first time, I guess I'll have to complete this review at some point. I finished the book about a week ago, and have since began reading "Dark Force Rising" which is, of course, the second book of Zahn's amazing trilogy.
This will be a shorter post because the first 200 pages (and my incredible review) really got to the core of what made this book incredible. The characters, the writing, the descriptions. Everything is spot on, most importantly, the feel is what is authentic. There is never a let-down in the pace, and even the most trivial things become far more significant(usually with the help of our good friend Mr. Thrawn, who is able to extra sublime meaning out of every hand wave).
There are a few problems I noticed however, but they're issues that don't detract from the story. At times, it feels a lot like certain scenes are forced in order to move the plot along. Obviously, that's the plots objective, to be pushed forward, but some of the ideas used are just odd. For instance, when Leia suggests going to Kashyyyk, there is a huge debate about "finding a slicer," and though it's important to split Leia and Han (Leia needs to find out about the Norghi), but does Han really need to land on Myrkr? His and Lando's presence there does nothing for the plot except give Luke an opportunity to flee, which he would have done anyways if Karrde had moved him when the Imperials were arriving. In general, it's a small frustration, but still present. Especially when Leia just ends up leaving Kashyyyk anyways. I guess we'll have to see whether the Han-Lando-Karrde interaction was essential, and I'm sure it is, but I wanted to make sure I posted it first.
The only other complaint I have is not so much technical as an observation of Thrawn's character. So adept at analyzing every species, every mind for that matter, he is able to exploit every weakness an individual reveals, and as though he can read minds, anticipates every action. Why is it then that he treats the Norghi so badly? Thrawn is cold, to be sure, but he is calculating in every other instance except when dealing with the Norghi, in which case he is simply haughty. "She and her guardians will eventually run out of tricks," he says about Leia's escape from capture on Kashyyyk. "Certainly long before we run out of Norghi." (344). How will this mistreatment of the Norghi turn out? (SPOILER ALERT: _________RHUK KILLS THRAWN.)
But, even in the midst of defeat, Thrawn shows his brilliance. The Battle for Sluis Van ended badly for the Grand Admiral; though his plan was executed perfectly, and nearly all the of ships were captured before Lando set off the mole-miners, he calmly orders Pellaeon to withdraw from the battle. Pellaeon shows some shock at this order; this was the major offensive that had been built up to the entire book, why was he abandoning now? "We haven't been defeated, Captain," he intones after the battle's unsettling result. "Sluis Van was to be merely a preliminary to the campaign, no the campaign itself. As long as we have Mount Tantiss, our ultimate victory is assured." (399). What is so important about Mount Tantiss? How Will Thrawn utilize all those technologies he uncovered? Is there any reason Thrawn is looking for new ships, aside from rebuilding his fleet? These questions are all incredibly important, but Pellaeon has a moment of contemplation that highlights the caliber of an enemy the New Republic faces in Grand Admiral Thrawn; "[He] wondered, once again, what the Battle of Endor would have been like if Thrawn had been in Command." (399).
So, that's my review. Aside from those questions about the Imperials, what about the New Republic? How will they face this internal struggle between Fey'la and Ackbar, who has been imprisoned on counts of treason? How are the Imperials getting this information out of the Capital? What will happen with the Norghi now that they know Leia is Darth Vader's daughter? What is with the mysterious calling cylinder that Luke found on Dagobah, and how does it relate to Yoda? Joruus C'baoth; what will be his impact, and will he get control over Luke, Leia, and the twins? These are just a few of the big questions that will be answered in the next two books, and I cannot wait to report them.
MTFBWY.
-DK
PS: I posted a picture of the normal cover with the last post. This is what my copy looks like. Most of the book is falling apart at the seam, hence the nifty paper-clip holding it all together.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Star Wars Review #1.1: Heir to the Empire-The First 200 Pages.
When Heir to the Empire was published in 1991, it changed Star Wars forever. These are bold words, but as an avid fan- scratch that- as an insanely-obsessed-holy-crap-what-have-I-done-with-most-of-my-life fan, I feel like I can make that statement with confidence.It wasn't the first Star Wars book published. In 1978, "Splinter of the Mind's Eye" by Alan Dean Foster was published as a sequel to A New Hope. Essentially from the time the first movie was published until today, comic books and the Star Wars Role Playing Game have been filling in gaps between the movies and the characters, and expanded the story significantly.
No, "Heir to the Empire" was a dramatic change in the way Star Wars was written, and it's success heralded the start of 20 years of Star Wars publications. Novels and Comics written prior to 1991 were largely fluff. The Marvel Comics read like 60's superhero panels. Cheesy lines, boring artwork, and a general lack of interesting stories made these early comics pretty inconsequential. Sure, they were fun, but what was the point? Neither those, nor the books (Adventures of Han Solo, and Lando Calrissian Adventures) anything more than basic, and rather unsatisfying, back-story for some very important characters.
None of these works capture the true feeling of Star Wars. None of them achieve the epic feel of the original movies, there is no Galactic consequence to any of them, and if there is, it is an unsatisfying result. It's like watching your favorite show on Youtube; the essence is lost in the grainy, low-quality version your viewing.
Heir to the Empire, and the two books that followed it, achieve that feeling. There is the right combination of suspense, action, and inter-galactic conflict to get your heart pumping, all the while it's filling in back story in a way that no other novel had done previously. Constantly it's bringing up information that is familiar to the movie-goers, but without breaking the flow of the story.
For instance, the inclusion of Coruscant, the Capital of the Old Republic, and known as "Imperial Center" under the Empire. There is no mention of this planet in the Original Trilogy, but Timothy Zahn's name stuck, and it officially became canon in the Star Wars Universe.
The Clone Wars. "Years ago, you served my father in the Clone Wars" Leia says in her important message to Obi-Wan Kenobi in A New Hope, and that's all we get about this pivotal event in Galactic history. Here in the first 200 pages, we already start to get some development on this huge part of history. Zahn talks about the "Outbound Flight Project," an expedition intended to enter a nearby galaxy, which carried several Jedi Masters, and was destroyed by Thrawn before the Clone Wars broke out. We also see the "Spaati Cloning Cylinders" which were obviously used during the wars, and saved by the Emperor in his Storehouse in Mount Tantiss on Wayland. It also fills in a little on the Imperial Senate, the characters of Mon Mothma and Admiral Ackbar, Borsk Fey'la and his Bothan Spies. Also in the first 200 pages, it covers Dagobah, and raises questions about the Dark Cave and what happened there to create that Nexus of the Dark Side.
But, these are just details for the Science Fiction Junkies, those people who feed off facts about minor characters, and love to assembly chronologies in their mind. One of my favorite parts about Frank Herbert's "Dune" is his appendix at the end of the novel that fills in a lot of history for you, and Asimov's "Foundation" spans thousands of years, essentially a nerd's wet-dream.
What's more important is the story. In the first chapter of the book, we're introduced to one of the greatest villains in Star Wars, and by far the most interesting. Grand Admiral Thrawn, a blue skinned, Red-Eyed being known as a "Chiss." In an Empire that valued humans above all else, Thrawn's ascension to Grand Admiral speaks to his brilliance, and Zahn shows his talents in his frequent dismemberment of Rebel Forces. Thrawn is cold, calculating, and while not as menacing as Vader, there is an enthralling nature to his character. He studies a species art to better understand how to defeat them. Rather than bombard a planet into submission, he will search out information like pieces of a puzzle that will come together in a plan that comes together masterfully. His Noghri assassins, silent menacing creatures that are as fast as Jedi, and as strong as a Wookie (That's gundark arm-removing strong). Then there is the dutiful Captain Pellaeon, essentially our mental representative in the story. He has just as little idea about what Thrawn is thinking as we do, and because of his rank, can ask the questions that would get our non-officer heads removed. When he does understand, Zahn tactfully has him spell it out in a way that even the most oblivious fans would understand. Lastly, there is Joruus C'Baoth, the Jedi Master. We know he is a clone of the late Jedi Master, and his eccentricities could belong to the mental deficiencies that go along with Spaati Cylinder clones, but there is something truely unnerving about his Palpatine-esque thirst for power, as well as his chilling attitude toward death. His nonchalance as he tells Thrawn and Pellaeon that the crypt he's lead them to on Wayland is filled with other "Offworld Visitors," sends chills down your spine, and his obvious derangement makes his pursuit of Luke and Leia, and her unborn twins, even more frightening.
That leads us to our final component that makes this book trilogy so successful, and it's the continuity between movie and books between the characters. Though 5 years have passed, the characters feel very familiar; the big differences are a few changes in roles, and even the characters feel a little uncomfortable. Han and Leia often remark on how the battle between politicians can be more vicious, and far more unnerving, than even the key moments of the Rebellion were. Luke struggles with his role as the last Jedi, and now that the New Republic has control over Coruscant, he needs to decide how he will act from here on out, and also helps explain how eagerly he searches for C'baoth, without considering the consequences. Chewbacca, Threepio and Artoo are all back, and all as static as ever. It's essential though that these peripheral characters remain familiar, especially as new characters are introduced all around.
Most important though, at least for me, are the constant grounding in the films. Though taking place five years later, and written 8 after the last movie, it was important to create a tie to essentially the most important aspect of Star Wars, the films. In future books, authors would have more to rely on, and would reference previous authors, Zahn included. Zahn however has only the movies to go by, and it flows perfectly. "It's not my fault," makes an appearance, and a smile is shared between Han and Leia after Han suavely remarks, "I didn't have time to consult a commitee." Lando is a part of another mining investment, and it's even more dangerous and outlandish than Bespin's Cloud City. Luke's near constant contemplation of his training and the intentions of Obi-Wan and Yoda also bring us full circle to his training as he contemplates how to move forward as a Jedi.
In just the first 200 pages, there is building suspense as conflict grows throughout the galaxy, as well as within the New Republic's ranks. What are Thrawn's master plans with the Shipyards of Sluis Van, and how will all the components we are seeing come together? What about the Spaati Cloning Cylinders and the Cloaking Device? What will happen to Luke when he finally meets up with C'baoth? What is the significance of Mara Jade and her hatred for Luke Skywalker? So many questions raised, and as you speed through each chapter, every one of them becomes more pressing as the story progresses.
200 pages to go, and then final thoughts on Heir to the Empire, first of the many reviews to come. I have nearly $1000 in Star Wars books and comics, so, I will be working on this for a while.
MTFBWY
-DK
My Blogging Objective
I like reading books. They're amazing portals into worlds you wouldn't otherwise be able to experience. Unlike Television, which only offers the ability to watch people, a book literally absorbs you into it, immersing yourself into a story, and hopefully, engaging you more than any television show can.
Unfortunately, not everyone likes reading books, and if they do, they may not like the same books as you. This is a problem I run into a lot, because I enjoy some of the junkiest types of books: Star Wars Novels.
It's not all junk: A Prayer for Owen Meany, Alexandre Dumas, and short stories are always fun. But, when you look at my book shelves, they all fall into one genre. His Dark Materials, Lord of the Rings, Dune, Ender's Game, Harry Potter and Dark Tower. I am a science fiction fan, but there is something worse, I am a Star Wars Junky.
I've spent hundred of dollars on these books, I've read some of the worst books ever written, but I need them. Every new book that comes out, it's gut-wrenching to try and wait for the paperbacks to come out, and there's no way I'll miss a hardcover if it's part of one of their new multi-book series...
Anyways. There is a large Star Wars Community, but unfortunately, the book community is very small. Even those who have read a lot of the books, tend to stick to their niche: Younger readers stick with the Clone Wars era, older readers with the Bantam EU, and only the most Dedicated actually finished the New Jedi Order, and have read Legacy of the Force and Fate of the Jedi.
No one really advertises their obsession. When people ask my favorite books, I mention those sci-fi books from above, and miraculously, none of my Star Wars disease is mentioned. I'm not ashamed, I just don't think people would understand. Or, maybe they will understand, and they won't talk to me again.
So, here's where the blog comes in. This year, I'm going to reread every piece of Star Wars literature I own. All 60+ books, all my trade paperbacks(aka, big comic books), all my stand-alone comics. In all, it will take me nearly the entire year to read. And rather than suffer it on my own, I'm writing this blog, so I can at least pretend that some Star Wars fan is reading them out there.
First up: Heir to the Empire, by Timothy Zahn.
May the Force be with you!
-DK
Unfortunately, not everyone likes reading books, and if they do, they may not like the same books as you. This is a problem I run into a lot, because I enjoy some of the junkiest types of books: Star Wars Novels.
It's not all junk: A Prayer for Owen Meany, Alexandre Dumas, and short stories are always fun. But, when you look at my book shelves, they all fall into one genre. His Dark Materials, Lord of the Rings, Dune, Ender's Game, Harry Potter and Dark Tower. I am a science fiction fan, but there is something worse, I am a Star Wars Junky.
I've spent hundred of dollars on these books, I've read some of the worst books ever written, but I need them. Every new book that comes out, it's gut-wrenching to try and wait for the paperbacks to come out, and there's no way I'll miss a hardcover if it's part of one of their new multi-book series...
Anyways. There is a large Star Wars Community, but unfortunately, the book community is very small. Even those who have read a lot of the books, tend to stick to their niche: Younger readers stick with the Clone Wars era, older readers with the Bantam EU, and only the most Dedicated actually finished the New Jedi Order, and have read Legacy of the Force and Fate of the Jedi.
No one really advertises their obsession. When people ask my favorite books, I mention those sci-fi books from above, and miraculously, none of my Star Wars disease is mentioned. I'm not ashamed, I just don't think people would understand. Or, maybe they will understand, and they won't talk to me again.
So, here's where the blog comes in. This year, I'm going to reread every piece of Star Wars literature I own. All 60+ books, all my trade paperbacks(aka, big comic books), all my stand-alone comics. In all, it will take me nearly the entire year to read. And rather than suffer it on my own, I'm writing this blog, so I can at least pretend that some Star Wars fan is reading them out there.
First up: Heir to the Empire, by Timothy Zahn.
May the Force be with you!
-DK
Sunday, February 7, 2010
My Tick-Tock Adventure
This was too big to post in a Facebook message, so here we are! I hope everyone enjoys it!
Dear friends, tonight I'm going to embark on a unique slu experien: my first trip to the tick-tock. upon hearing this, my good friend cam lownie
10:58PM '''''''
said 'if only there was a way for you to live blog this event.' i have figured out a compromise: tick-tock-text blog. Ill text updates to anyone who wants
10:59PM """""
and include everything in a facebook post tomorrow my texts and your responses.
Don’t do it Derek it is too much too soon
10:58pm “”””””” FR : Jeannine Condon
Me me me!!
10:58PM FR : James Racette
Haha java is sweet if the tic toc blows walk back here
10:59pm Fr: Tim Beaupre
Add me to the list!
10:59pm Fr: Emily Wescott
Hahaha ill be hereee!!
11:00pm Fr: Ryan Walsh
Derek. I will most likely be at the tick tock with you
I've just taken about 5 shots in the last 15 minutes. From what everyone says, this will make tick-tock bearable.
The two girls im going with, both are wearing stockings, and one is wearing a blue sequined dress, grace potter style. I feel underdressed.
11:47PM """"" TO: ALL
Mission tik-tock starting bad. my escotes began fighting. The ground is less stable. Its cold. I'm glad I'm not wearing a dress and tights right now.
11:48pm FR: _________
Are you with ____ and ____?
11:50PM """""TO: ______
Bah, ______. Its confidentiality right now. But yes. I feel bad. They're a little drunk. I'm a little drunk. Or at least more drunk then ever
I'm in, the alchol has completely kicked in. It also helps wit hteh disorientation im feeling. So far not bad. Also not full. We got here 1155, $3 go 2 haiti
12:04am FR: Cam Lownie
Singlehandedly, you are dtunkenly saving Haiti. Kudos. Java’s fuckin sweet thnugh
Observation one: Lowering of inhibitions is def true. Just saw two girls pressed against the wall...by other girls. I'm surprisingly having fun.
12:11am Fr: ________
You’d hjve more fun if YOU JOINED THEM!!
12:12am Fr: ________
GET IN ON THAT!
I had my first dance, with _______. Go figure id finally catch up her at the tik-tock! As soon as this buzz is gone, im gone. but right now, this is fun
12:29am Fr: Ryan Walsh
Hahahahahahaha no way
Ok, claustrophobia sitting in. Woah, without alchohal this would blow
12:46 am Fr: Cam Lownie
Luckily, you had 5 shots in 15 minutes
Thhis is less dancing than jostling. I was once the donut hole of a man circle. I felt uncomfortable
I'm leaving. Less drunk, more claustrophobic Have a great night!
Final Observations: tik-tock is very fun early on when youre still buzzed, and can find friends. Later on, when youre more cognizant, it blows, and people smel
1:15AM"""""To All
I did get a few dances, but that wasn't what I was after: just a distraction. Surprised how many other cas were there. Surprised at home many people i knew
1:16AM"""""To All
Overall, very fun for the first hour. Leaving now before its not so fun. Java here I come.
1:15 am Fr:Cam Lownie
You probably smell too, you unbathed yeti.
1:24am""""To Cam
I showrred thank you. Ahole.
Be careful walking back. If its too cold to walk, lemme know. Neither of you are dressed well, and im sobering up quick.
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